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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27004525">Watch The Lucky Ones</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/naturallesbain/pseuds/naturallesbain'>naturallesbain</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Dealing With My Problems [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anorexia, Bad Poetry, Child Abuse, Schizophrenia, Self-Harm, Suicide, Violent Thoughts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 01:08:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>378</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27004525</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/naturallesbain/pseuds/naturallesbain</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Youd watch them from afar, wanting to be them so bad" </p><p>Another addition to Dealing With My Problems. </p><p> </p><p>Just wanna say that im almost 1 year clean from sh even tho 4 people will read this fic</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Dealing With My Problems [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1967866</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Watch The Lucky Ones</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>We love mental illness</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You watched the kids run around when you were younger. You watched them play with their parents, heard their giggles and squeals of joy from your front porch. </p><p>You envied those kids. </p><p>You would never have that kind of relationship with your own parents. </p><p>Sure, they were nice sometimes. </p><p>Sure they provided for you. </p><p>But they werent parents. </p><p>Growing up in a household of abuse taught you that much. </p><p>Only able to escape when you went over to hang with the gang. </p><p>You loved them. </p><p>They were your family, but they werent. </p><p>They lacked what the other kids had. </p><p>You loved them, but you would give anything to be able to run around with your parents. </p><p>-</p><p>Teenage years were hard. </p><p>The abuse amped up, leaving you no choice but to endure the yelling, hitting, and drunken insults thrown your way. </p><p>"Fat"</p><p>"Ugly"</p><p>"Wish you were never born" </p><p>"Disappointment"</p><p>"I wish I aborted you" </p><p>They all carved themselves deep into your brain, reminding you that you'll never be enough for them, never enough to love. </p><p>You started starving yourself as punishment. </p><p>It only hurt a little, but it got easier. </p><p>So you cut yourself.</p><p>The deep aching sting of the blade slicing across your skin and through fat kept your mind at ease. </p><p>It was just a simple press away, after all. </p><p>Feel anxious? </p><p>Just press on what you did last night. </p><p>Press on the bandaid on your thigh. </p><p>Dig your nail into the scars left by your nails when they took the blades away. </p><p>Dont let them heal. </p><p>Rot. </p><p>But not so much. </p><p>You cant let anyone know. </p><p>You cant let anyone know of the voices that tell you to do awful things to the people around you. </p><p>Their chanting more like song. </p><p>Help me. </p><p>Help me. </p><p>Help me. </p><p>Please let me get away. </p><p>Deep down I know I've done nothing wrong, but the words and drunken mumbles spit at me remind me that I'm worthless. </p><p>Am I really that worthless?</p><p>So much so that Ponyboy hates me? </p><p>He has to. </p><p>Its only sympathy. </p><p>Kill yourself. </p><p>I already tried. </p><p>Please. </p><p>Leave me alone. </p><p>Do you deserve it? </p><p>Do you deserve love? </p><p>You were the lucky one, you got out without much of a scratch on you. </p><p>Lucky ones. </p>
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